As Valentine’s Day approaches, the phrase, “I just want someone to cuddle with!” gets louder and louder, until no coffee shops, brunch spots, or gym classes are safe. Cities explode into romantically-led chaos; people run around like ants in search of the perfect love ballad and warm body to fall asleep next to.
But when they get there — in the arms of someone else — do they actually fall asleep?
In the movies, actors make people think that cuddling is something all happy couples do before falling into an interlocked slumber (eight hours of deep R.E.M. implied). But anyone who’s coupled up in the real world knows that cuddling, and sleep itself, gets pretty dicey when you finally turn one into two.
How do you preserve your sleep pattern while dating? What happens to your evening comedowns that you like to do alone? Your retainer that you’ve worn every night since you were 18? Your five-step skincare routine? Your face-down, spread-out sleep stance, which is the only way you can actually fall asleep? Your humidifier that you can’t live without?
No matter whom you’re seeing this cuffing season, (even if it’s just yourself), we’ve got some snuggly suggestions to help you get the sexiest (best) night’s sleep possible. Catching feelings may be fun, but so is catching zzzs.
Someone, somewhere has likely said, “You can sleep at night knowing you love yourself.” But what they really meant was that you can actually sleep at night when you don’t have to share the bed. Here’s how to further romanticize your evening routine when you are your own significant other.
1. Set the mood.
“Mood lighting” isn’t just reserved for daters. It turns out, looking at artificial light as you near bedtime can totally disrupt your melatonin production, which means worse, less deep sleep. Softening the lighting in your room with a glow light that naturally adjusts to your routines will help keep your circadian rhythms in check, leaving you with more energy for the things you love doing alone. Cue the new song: “Sleep, myself, and I” (it doesn’t exist yet).
2. Invest in Fun Evening Accessories.
No, not that kind.
When you’re first dating someone, you’re often challenged by having to include that person in all that you do, including sleep. So enjoy the freedom of party-of-one-ing while you can. Now’s the time to fill your space with sleep-cessories that’ll make sleep feel like a luxurious gift rather than a mandatory cycle. Consider a weighted blanket that has the potential to knock out any feeling of restlessness or anxiety while also making you feel like you’re being hugged by your entire bed.
3. Meditate, meditate, meditate.
Trying to get zzzs while another person is in your bed is almost impossible. So while you have the bed to yourself, consider maximizing your meditation / wind-down time with Casper’s Sleep Channel, which you can play at full volume. After all, the sound of wind chimes or crackling fires is way more calming than the sound of another person snoring in your bed.
You’re not looking to sleep around, necessarily; you’re looking to get sleep, while around. In the early stages of courtship, a good night’s rest can often go neglected. But don’t worry (or yawn) too much about swiping and sleeping. No matter who you’re dating, sleep is something you have in common. Leverage it!
1. Share your favorite bedtime story.
Keep this one in your back pocket for the moment things go silent on a first date. Try asking your date about their bedtime routines. What are their favorite strategies for falling asleep? Do they count sheep? Do they do mental math with the digits on their alarm clock? Check into some nostalgia and unearth your favorite bedtime stories with each other. If you can’t think of any, visit the Casper Sleep Channel for some inspiration. See if your date has a sense of humor by recommending “Truly Boring Fairy Tales.”
2. Buy each other pillows.
If the first rendezvous goes well, you’re likely to be out until late. (That’s great! Misery can be fun and can give you something to talk about). The next time you see your new beau, a bit groggy eyed, propose doing a pillow swap. You can elect to give each other a lasting gift of primary pillows, or you can make it a bit more of a joke, and give each other something decorative. Either way, you’ll be making loving progress on your new “project” while also adding to the sleepy spirit of your bedroom.
3. Make it a date at The Casper Dreamery.
If you’ve ever Googled “things to do on a date that are not drinks or dinner,” you are certainly not alone. The Casper Dreamery in NYC is a fun, peaceful, and novel date idea. It’s simple: you book a comfortable bed and nap for 45 minutes in a private, modernly designed nook. And don’t worry, you won’t be sleeping with your date. You will nap separately… which, hey, might bring you closer together in the long run. You will be dressed in comfortable PJ’s and will be given coffee after your nap. The experience feels like a brief, cosmic getaway amidst the hustle-and-bustle of real life. (And isn’t that what love is?!)
OK, so you accidentally fell for someone. Don’t panic, or you might fall off the bed too. As Mandy Moore once sang, “It’s gonna be love, it’s gonna be great.”
1. Add an extra blanket or duvet to guard against hogging.
This might sound like you’re already creating boundaries, yes, but really you’re just looking after yourself. Pro tip: Don’t needlessly have the “we should have our own blankets” conversation. Just wait until hogging strikes once, then strategically engage the second blanket. If you and your partner are connecting, they’ll know what’s up by the time the sun rises.
2. Establish morning roles.
If things are good, you might want to lay in bed together all day. This is not always good! Disrupting your normal wake-up routine can affect how you fall asleep later. So instead of intertwining in each other’s arms until eternity, establish some morning habits that each of you like to take on. One person can shower while the other gets coffee. One can brush their teeth while the other makes the bed. And then (and only then), can you get back into bed together.
3. Visit a Casper Sleep Shop.
Mattresses and duvets and sheets, oh my! Investing in better sleep is like investing in your new relationship. You’re putting down the groundwork necessary for great things to come. Stop by a Casper Sleep Shop for a nap trial, and make it a date.
As months turn into years and years into decades, a committed sleep regimen finds its way. But stability doesn’t mean the ethereal bliss of a good night’s rest needs to fade.
1. Establish new evening routines.
You know how good it feels to go on vacation, and then to return with your partner to a clean home? You can get the same peaceful satisfaction every day by slating new chores for the nighttime. Doing the dishes, laundry, and tidying up at night is a great way to avoid the screens and feel like you’re both contributing to the zen of your household.
2. Invest in new loungewear.
You knew this one was coming. You’ve been wearing that same “COLLEGE” hoodie since college, which is where you met your partner. Consider buying for each other; this is your chance to give them something they won’t feel pressured to wear in public. The look (and feel!) is all for you.
3. Share your dreams.
As you grow and change together, make a point to always communicate about how you’ve been sleeping: the good, the bad, and the bizarre. It’s a simple, human way to stay connected to your partner. And always share your dreams! (We’re talking both about those you have at night and during the day).
