Sleep Divorce: Addressing Unique Sleep Needs

September 23, 2021 | Casper Editorial Team

If sleep had love languages, what would yours have to say? Regardless of how meant-for-each-other you and your partner are, you still might find that your sleep habits and schedules are not exactly the most compatible. The solution? A sleep divorce, perhaps

While it may not be right for everyone, this trial sleep separation may provide you with the space you need while still enjoying all the warmth and comfort of your partnership. 

Read on for everything you need to know regarding the details of sleep divorce, a few pros and cons, and how you and your significant other can stay restfully in love while avoiding sleep disturbance. 

What is Sleep Divorce? 

If you’re in the 19% of the population1 that places blame on their partner for a less-than-peaceful night’s sleep, you’ll be glad to know you’re not alone in feeling frustrated. It can be hard waking up in the morning after you spent most of your sleepless night tossing and turning—and even harder when you pick a fight with your significant other because of it. 

Don’t worry, a sleep divorce doesn’t mean dividing assets or falling victim to legal document doom. Instead, it’s a viable solution that allows couples to separate their sleep set-up—whether it involves putting a different bed in the same room, investing in an adjustable bed frame, or sleeping in a separate bedroom of the house altogether. Additionally, incessant snoring or tossing and turning isn’t always the cause of bedtime contention. Sometimes it just makes more sense, logistically, if you two spend most days of the week on opposite schedules. 

Whatever your reasons for considering a sleep divorce, take a look at a few benefits and drawbacks first before severing sleep ties with your partner. 

Pros and Cons of Sleep Divorce

Again, just because a sleep divorce may be on your horizon doesn’t mean your relationship is destined for a rocky road ahead. In fact, this kind of separate sleeping arrangement may even pave the way for new, healthy partnership habits to develop. 

Pros of a Sleep Divorce

Here’s a look at the advantages of a sleep divorce:

  • Quieter, more restful sleep – If your partner’s snoring, bed-hogging, or endless tossing is behind your lack of sleep, you might find that entering dreamland from different parts of the house is key to getting you the quality sleep you need. 
  • Improved communication – Navigating discussions such as these with your partner encourages you both to speak your mind in a respectful and mutually beneficial manner. The more finesse with which you can tackle this kind of conflict, the more prepared you’ll be to handle other life obstacles that come your way. 
  • Increased opportunities for intimacy – Since you and your significant other won’t be snuggled up together every night in the midst of your sleep divorce, consider this as an opportunity to set aside another time for closeness and physical contact. 

While there are a number of positive takeaways from sleep divorces, they might not be the cure-all for everyone. 

Cons of a Sleep Divorce

Here are a few sleep divorce drawbacks to consider before making the split:

  • Increased expenses – Unless you’ve got a ready-made guest room for you or your partner to move into, you’ll have to factor in a few additional costs when it comes to going through with your separation. Who gets to snuggle up with your favorite set of cooling sheets?

    If you didn’t buy in bulk, you may have to consider purchasing another set so you both have equal access to a better night’s sleep. Additional mattresses, bedding, and bed frames can add up, so be sure you’ve got room for them in your budget before parting ways. 
  • Feelings of distance or abandonment – Unless it was a mutual decision, the partner getting the bedtime boot might end up dealing with feelings of abandonment that could develop into resentment over time.

    Additionally, the intimacy shared at bedtime could be difficult to replace elsewhere in your busy schedules. So, some relationships may be at risk of going cold if physical touch isn’t made a priority. 

Should You Get a Sleep Divorce?

Is a sleep divorce the right answer for your and your sleep companion? That’s a decision that you and your partner will have to make together. However, it would be prudent to start by considering a few questions such as the following to determine whether or not an alternative to sleep divorce exists.

  • Have you talked about it already? It’s best not to be abrupt in these situations. Instead, bring up your concerns in a calm, open dialogue in advance to see if there is any room for compromise. 
  • Are you doing your part? Perhaps the difficulty you’re experiencing with sleep isn’t directly caused by your partner. Consider cutting out tech time before bed or engaging in a calming yoga or meditation practice to see if anxiety or too much screen time are the real reasons behind your bedtime restlessness. 

Casper: A Solution to Your Sleeping Arrangement

If a sleep divorce seems a bit extreme, consider searching for a more sound sleeping arrangement in your bed itself. Look to the Rise Max Adjustable Base with a Split King bed if you and your partner are on opposite wavelengths when it comes to comfort. This way you’ll be able to find a sleep set-up that works for you both without having to retire in a separate bedroom. Plus, this adjustable bed frame with massage features is sure to have you both sleeping soundly.

Stop motion transfer, choose your preferred mattress firmness, and even snuggle up to your own bedding. Shop the Casper collection and fall back in love with bedtime today.



  1. SWNS Digital Hub. Sleep Divorce may be the Key to a Happy Relationship, Study Finds.
  2. The New York Times. Is It Time for a Sleep Divorce?.
  3. The Knot. Why You Should Consider a Sleep Divorce for Your Relationship.